rlmjob:

bestlittle1:

rlmjob:

*puts on sexy underwear but accepts the fact that no one will see it*

But knowing daddy bought them is good enough for me.

image

(via confirmed--bachelor)

wet-monsoon:

when i got into biology today my teacher picked up a note from off a desk and started laughing hysterically. 

wondering what COMEDIC GOLD was on the note, i asked him and he showed it to me and word for word it said “i’ll suck the farts right out of your ass”

my 43-year-old teacher was busting his gut on the phrase ”i’ll suck the farts right out of your ass”

(via khumber)

celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying

(via idontspeakmonkey)

sunflower-mama:

princess-mishaps-palace:

cooper has a valuable contribution to the abortion arguement 


Woah

sunflower-mama:

princess-mishaps-palace:

cooper has a valuable contribution to the abortion arguement 

Woah

(via the--fastest--sperm)

saintlukas:

this is the only vine that matters

(via condom)

raisesomehale:

inquiringcharlie:

there is only two people on this earth that make those moves work for them

Beyonce

this guy

image

(via rhydonmyhardon)

(via condom)

worldfamousprofessor:

janksy:

so has tumblr been notified of the existence of cookie butter yet
it’s basically nutella but instead of chocolate it tastes like GINGERBREAD!!!!! and the crunchy kind has cookie crumbs in it. it’s the most amazing thing ever and you can find it at trader joes so hop to it guys

worldfamousprofessor:

janksy:

so has tumblr been notified of the existence of cookie butter yet

it’s basically nutella but instead of chocolate it tastes like GINGERBREAD!!!!! and the crunchy kind has cookie crumbs in it. it’s the most amazing thing ever and you can find it at trader joes so hop to it guys

image

(via barbiesplasticsurgeon)

sideoftheangelstaketheimpala:

oloveshippurr:

bobbyhoying:

giantspacefetus:

My math binders are always red every year I feel like math is just a red subject

Math is a blue subject and I’m prepared to fight you over this

image

LAUGHING

(via feminemma)

fuckyeah1990s:

sample from my screenplay for “Killer Party”, I need $6000 more to make this movie. You should donate here

fuckyeah1990s:

sample from my screenplay for “Killer Party”, I need $6000 more to make this movie. You should donate here

(via meladoodle)

suppermariobroth:

Luijesus.

ohdamnchris:

spattergroit101:

stop following me in front 

IM DYIN

(via zackisontumblr)

(via hi)